Anyway, I hadn't been actively keeping track of things I heard that were amusing, so I'll try and drudge up some gems from memory...enjoy!
- "Do you guys have a hard time trying to explain to non-SEOs what you do for a living? I tried telling my in-laws that a low conversion plus a large amount of visitors equals 'My kids go to private school.'" -- Greg from BOTW
- "Who's the greatest thief in this hotel?" -- Dax Herrera, after he picked the lock on the lounge piano and started tickling those ivories
- "You guys are drinking water?! I'm so disappointed in you!" -- Greg Boser (who was enjoying a glass of Chopin vodka)
A couple minutes later:
"Here hon, I got you some water." -- Barbara Boser
"Awww, what'd you do that for? I just got done giving these guys shit for ordering waters, and then you went and ordered me one!" -- an embarrassed Greg - "Do you guys know what YouTube is? Cuz you're ON it!" -- Cameron Olthuis heckling the Hilton security guards as the altercation between them and various SEOs is being videotaped
- "...dude, it's a shitty piano! It's a Yamaha!" -- an amused Dax, as he is getting yelled at by hotel security for playing the piano
- "I hate you." -- Lisa Barone, after I snapped a photo of her taking notes during a session
- When talking about how he needs to get a bigger office:
"It is like everyone is sitting on each uhters'...what is tee word? Not chicken wings, but..." -- Guillaume Bouchard (the token French Canadian SEOmoz blogger)
"Huh?" -- me
Guillaume gestures at his thigh. "You know, tis part..."
"Uh, a thigh?" -- me
"Yes! It is like everyone is sitting on each uhters' ties." -- Guillaume
- "I don't know what I want to drink...Dom Perignon sounds pretty good." -- Scott (he was joking)
"What? You want Dom? Okay, let's get a bottle!" -- Frank Watson (he wasn't joking; he bought three bottles) - "When Scott gets really drunk, he's like a charging bear that got hit with a tranquilizer dart." -- an observant and amused Jane
- "Oh, I would hate to be Matt Cutts. I'd be like, 'I never see my wife because of this damn job. We haven't talked in weeks, and you want to know why your site isn't ranked number one.'" -- Greg from BOTW
- "I'm Indian! We're a cheap people!" -- Neil Patel, after we made fun of his shabby jammies
- "NEW YORK F*CKIN' CITY!!" -- Chris Hooley
- "How's your trip going so far?" -- me
"Tons of people I don't know keep squealing 'You're Mystery Guest!' and snapping photos of me. It's really weird." -- Mystery Guest - "...and you're not gonna believe what happened next...you better not blog about this!" -- Rae Hoffman
- "Fookin' yeah!" -- Dave Naylor
(Oh, and, as always, feel free to share some other memorable quotes in the comments!)
P.S. Barbara Boser has been having way too much fun with the SEO Celebrity Lookalikes on her blog. Check out who she thinks look just like Charlize Theron and Jennifer Tilly...
A couple of additional gems from a night in Chinatown:
"Geraldine and I have a friend that swings both ways."--Rand
"What, you mean white hat and black?"--Frank Watson
"Why do guys always have bleach spots on their towels?"--Geraldine (aka Mystery Guest)
"Oh, that's not from bleach."--Greg Niland
I was surprised she forgot that one....
I don't know that "forgot" is the correct word, so much as "willfully omitted".
Fair enough..... thanks again for dinner by the way... I am honored.
Good job Scott, those were good. And thanks Frank for that wonderful Italian desert and to whoever got the limo ride. It sure was different than the trip back from Chinatown in Chicago.
Hey! Chinatown in Chicago was special for all of us! There would be no vagrants playing dice, processed cheese, sub-zero temperatures, and double dinners if it weren't for that grand time!
I agree... the Chicago dinner was the start and I hope we keep the tradition going... I have enjoyed them all... London and NYC so next is San Jose - though I will make the effort at Miami I don't think as many people come to this event yet... you will all be there sooner or later!!!
Yes, thanks for carrying on the tradition. I will make sure to do the same at SES China. I don't think we'll have to stray too far to find a Chinese restaraunt there but I'm sure pizza or Italian desert afterwards is out. Maybe not, we'll see.
I'm not sure I'll be going to Miami. I was going to pitch, but it's all Latino-centric, so unless I go as press, I'll have to skip it. :(
I will lobby Rand.... and the Latin market is huge and needs attention
Chinatown to Little Italy in four blocks was pretty awesome. Many thanks to Frank for putting the whole thing together and treating us all to dessert at Ferrara's. Thanks to David for speaking enough Chinese to get us great service at Wo Hop. Thanks to Greg Niland for the most ridiculous limo ride ever. And thanks to all of the rest of the Chinatown gang (Rand, Geraldine, Chris Boggs, Ian & Julia from FXCM) for making it a great time.
Sorry, Scott :P
EDIT: Rebecca, when you quote me saying "tranquiliser", it must be spelled with an s. Heh.
Come on now!
a lot of people think they're only funny if you've attended the conference
I'm deeply offended that you would report on an event I didn't attend. I only like to read reports about things I already know about. Learning new things is the Devil's work.
Haha, well put.
Well put indeed!
And from now on please ask Rand to only blog about things we already know too. No sense in hearing about something we don't already understand.
Rebecca count me as someone who still finds these overheard comments funny even though I wasn't there. They're helping to make me want to be there the next time.
HAHAHAH LOL at #10, I bet in secret Matt wants shoot people who ask that very question. Hilarious post, thanks for making my morning.
#14 scared the piss out of me at first. :P
You know we wouldn't do that :D
Ahhh, Sorry I missed this the other day, after practically begging you to do it again. In all fairness to myself, though, I am laid up in bed after a very minor surgical procedure. Once again, however, a great laugh... Thanks!
..If you see a pair of tonsils around, let me know..they're mine and I want them back ;)
hey mate.... I can get you some new tonsils in China.... or in the trash of most hospitals come to think of it....
What is with you and organ traffiking?!
Have to help this Chinese kid I went to boarding school with.... he supports his 240 odd family members selling organs....
Oh, siiiick, Frank! I think I just toiled in my mouth.
Kevin: we have the comic strip on the way, too! Rebecca is hard at work at it as we speak.
I got my tonsils removed when I was sixteen. It sucked, but it was also a good way to lose ten pounds in one day (not that I had 10 lb tonsils...)
I can imagine the elf at 16... lose 10 pounds and everyone think you are bulemic... get all selfconscious
Really, how do you remember these?
I swear my memory gets worse every day ;)
love the 13th... was "the mystery guest" honest in saying that he(she) didn't know why she(he) was such a celebrity?
bogdan - all evidence to the contrary (and despite Mr. Naylor's teasings), I prefer the ladies :) Hence, Mystery Guest is of the fairer gender.
I'm sorry, Rand, but as someone who occasionally leans too close to metrosexual himself, I found this little exchange hilarious. Kudos to Bogdan for trying so hard to be politically correct.
Please see my "drag queen" comment on Jane's post. I look like a dude in that picture. She's in so much trouble.
You could never look like a drag queen. My mother saw that picture and she said you were very cute. And she's a snob :P
What was it we decided your drag queen name would be when we were in the airport? Oh yeah, Big Fat Geraldine...but only if you were a giant black man in a horrible , sequined cocktail dress.
If I find out who thumbed your comment up, I will beat them with my clunky black shoe.
That'd be me. Do I at least get a lesser beating for being honest?
wait, i could swear you're forgetting one.... i'm sure you remember what i'm talking about :)
Hmmm...
I love it that this comment has been edited. And I don't know what Cameron's talking about, either?!
Well, at first I was confused, but now I think I might have an idea...
Is it an idea you can share?
#15 - When does it stop being a quote and just become a catchphrase? ;)
Soon. Very soon.
In the SEOmoz office, it already is. Just adding "yeah" to the end of a sentence (or as punctuation half way through) is now commonplace.
Which one to choooooooooose!
Hmmm... I think "... you better not blog about this!" only I'd end up saying this *constantly*
Sometimes evil needs it's evil secrets kept... well, secret!