- “What dialect did he speak?”--Rand, asking about an unintelligible Brit that Scott and I had met at the bar the night before
“I don't know, mud?”--Scott - “Dave Naylor is like an idiot savant! He's an obnoxious drunk in the evenings, but when he's on a panel he's a genius!”--me
“Oh my God, he's like my Rainman!”--Greg Boser - “...and I had to use the toilet so bad. My bladder was so tight you could bounce a pea off it.”--Dave Naylor, in reference to his plight in finding a bathroom in time
- “Woof, that's awful!”--Scott, after tasting the hotel bartender's attempt at making a Long Island Iced Tea
- (in a discussion about how Frank went gambling the night before)
“Did you win?”--Alex Bennert
“Yeah, I took home about 300 pounds.”--Frank Watson
“Oh, is that how much she weighed?”--me - “Well, I'm not that caring a father. A real caring father would have given his son the whole pasty.”--Danny, after I told him how impressed my coworkers were when I told them how he split half of his pasty with his hungry son during my visit to Salisbury.
- “Quick, take a picture!”--Frank, as Allan Dick is choking during dinner.
“I'm not putting that in my comics!”--me - “Wow, these mussels are really big!”--Scott, as we're eating dinner at a Thai restaurant.
“Like these muscles?”--Rand, flexing his bicep - “Are you jealous that your boss was on CNN?”--Frank
“Nah. If I wanted to be on CNN, I could just go on a killing spree...which, after a few more sleepless nights, I might end up doing.”--me - “Dave Naylor just said that guy was a sleazebag! You need to take that guy's picture!”--an incredulous Rand to me
“Who, the guy with the EuroMullet?”--Scott - “...and then Greg starts screaming, 'Hey, are you accusing my wife of cheating?!' And it was so nice of him to stick up for me! I was cheating, by the way.”--Barbara Boser describing her experience being thrown out of a London casino (in her defense, she didn't know her actions constituted cheating).
- “You should come and visit our office. We can get drunk, turn on the video camera, and have a roundtable discussion about Wikipedia.”--Greg, teasing us about our video.
- “Damn it, you just cost me 3.5 million!”--Barbara to Elisabeth Osmeloski after Elisabeth pulled Greg back from the path of an oncoming train.
- “I need to blow my nose.”--me
“What? You want eggs?”--Scott, practicing his famous "selective hearing"
“Yeah, that's exactly what I said.”--me - (as Enrique Iglesias's song “Hero” is playing on the karaoke screen at a Chinese restaurant)
“Come on, Scott, sing some Enrique Iglesias!”--me
“Hold on, I need to stick a piece of chorizo on my face first.”--Scott - “Don't they have a song in a language that we can read?”--Scott, complaining about the Chinese karaoke
- "I tried to take out a bunch of money at the ATM, and the machine told me 'Your request is indecent.'"--a confused Becky Ryan
- "Ugh, this idea seemed really easy when I was drunk at the bar last night."--Greg, as we're sitting on the EuroStar on our way to Paris.
- "Wait, it's a 3 1/2 hour ride? I thought it was 2 1/2 hours."--Barb, confused about the length of time it takes to get to Paris.
"Don't think about it too much, because if you'll do you'll start to realize how stupid this idea was."--Greg - "I got yelled at for sleeping with my head on the tray. The lady said it was unsanitary to sleep like that."--Dax, complaining about getting yelled at during a flight.
"Who yelled at you?"--me
"I dunno...that lady...who brings drinks..."--Dax
"You mean the stewardess?"--me
"Yeah, whatever."--Dax (he's clearly tired) - "Paris subways must be filled with morlocks."--Scott, observing the dinginess of the Parisian subway system.
- "You should have put it in your mouth."--Barb, after Greg couldn't find his contact lens solution and needed to clean his contact.
"I did, and it was awful."--a disgusted Greg. - "I am so tired. I feel like a shark--if I stop moving, I'll die."--Scott
- "This elevator looks like Willy Wonka's great glass elevator if his chocolate factory were in Compton."--me, as we're standing in a filthy glass elevator in Paris's train station.
- "Bye! I'll see you at the next conference...unless you get fired...in which case (looks around at the roomful of SEOs who would probably hire us), I'll see you at the next conference!"--Elisabeth.
By: Rebecca Kelley
Overheard at SES London
Events
The author's views are entirely his or her own (excluding the unlikely event of hypnosis) and may not always reflect the views of Moz.
Much like how I shared The Best Things I Overheard at SES Chicago, I thought I'd enlighten the readers with the best, funniest, most outrageous, or downright random things said and heard at SES London:
One that was left off:
"Hey Scott, what ya got there?" --Rebecca to me as I walk into the Press/Speaker room with a schwag bag.
"Ah, just a big bag of Google crap." --Me
"Scott, have you met Matt Cutts?" --Rand to me (Matt was sitting directly behind me).
Matt was, of course, very gracious and took it all in good humor.
I was thinking that I forgot to add that one...it was really funny :)
For #11, you might want to mention that I believe it was at a casino. A little context about "cheating" goes a long way. :)
Good call, Matt. Context is very helpful.
Yeah, I was pretty much thinking she meant that someone was cheating ON someone else... but, being SES, that wouldn't have surprised me so very much.
Hey, I said I was tired...
nice catch :)
"Hey Dave, I know this is a really bad time...but..."
Some guy approaches Mr. Naylor in the bathroom while he was taking a pee.
I asked Dave if this was a first...
Dave: "no, the guy who knocked on my door while I was taking a dump really took the biscuit...”
ha ha, that's just so funny. Imagine thinking it would be ok to approach someone while they were taking a pee. Bad timing huh.
Just read evilgreenmonkeys article about The Search Engine Conference Groupie, it's really funny. Which one are you?
Newbie and proud!
And I bet the French metro system does not give out cheese.....
Haha. Score one for Chicago! Though if the French Metro did dole out cheese, I assume it would be smellier and pressumably better to some
Good to see your wit is as good in real life as well as blogging. You must have a wickedly dark sense of humor.
Dark as blackest night.
Man, I can't wait to go to SES. Just way too much hilarity (is that a word? Where's Steven Colbert when you need him?!)
They are absolutely awesome, Rebecca! Got a good laugh just now!
Interesting thing that your mind is always listening to funny remarks and quotes. Tells alot about your personality.
And just yesterday I referenced to a new webmaster that she should go to seomoz because its a great place to learn about optimizing!!!!! LOL.
I love the drunk roundtable idea, it would probably turn out to be more productive as people wouldn't hold back on their ideas or opinions!
aah, the good times I missed looking at skinny chicks. I'll pretend not to be offended that no one asked me about the nice subway lines in Paris. Though I wouldn't have the amusing mental image of Willy Wonka's Compton Chocolate factory if you did.
I get offended when people are mean about the Metro. Some of my most favourite memories originated in the Parisian Metro. We jumped over the turnstiles and held the doors open... but this is neither the time nor the place...
Every time I go to Paris & use the Metro it makes me realise that the London Tube is a lot better than we give it credit for - the carriages feel like they're made out of the paper and the doors look like they're being held closed by paperclips.....
I much preferred the London Underground to the Paris Metro.
This is probably the rare occasion where I'll say anything nice about the French, but the newer lines and cars aren't too bad. If you all ever make it back over, ride the line 1 or the 14 and you'll have a different experience. The other lines are older and show it in the trains and stations.
Jumping turnstiles and holding doors open are an unofficial Parisian pastime
More fun info? I was 14 years old :)
I love the overheard websites so these quotes are always great. I own 3 good overheard domains, anyone interested in developing them?
Funny post Rebecca!
I must agree with Matt C. - the cheating context definately threw mw for a loop. ;)
The really funny thing is how many times I was called black hat..... I just thought of myself as an Aussie SEO... we just use the colors that are closest!!!
I will try and post my trip to Amsterdam - maybe not Paris - but I did get to see Me, MySpace and Ipod - a great sketch comedy show and the smoke was intoxicating!!!