Hello, devoted Mozbers out there (Moz + Members). We're currently in the process of redesigning our business cards, and we want some amusing, fun, not at all corporate or stuffy-sounding job titles. Rand, Gillian, and the programmers are all pretty set with their creative titles, but Scott, Jane, Sarah, the future admin, and I all need your help. We need suggestions for awesomely bodacious and radtacular job titles.
I'll run down the list of what we traditionally do in order to give you all a starting point:
Scott: manages business development and client communications and partnerships
Sarah: she's our legal lady--general counsel, the one phone call in case I unsuccessfully rob a liquor store, all that good stuff
Jane: SEO, reputation management, social media, consulting, speaking, some blogging, rocking the accent
Rebecca: SEO, social media, blogging, content management, consulting, speaking, driving Rand crazy
Future admin: uh, admin tasks (answering phones, running errands, fielding questions, booking travel, event planning)
Danny: self-proclaimed "head intern;" he does development and programming odds and ends
Okay, you have your homework assignment. We need job titles! Think Rand Fishkin: Wizard of Moz, Gillian Muessig: Chief Cook and Head Bottlewasher, Mel Gray: Codeasaurus Tex, Jeff Pollard: Binary Czar. Those bastards already have their titles ready to go, so help out the ones in need! If we pick your suggestion, you'll receive a lovely prize (I'm thinking an envelope full of Rand's beard whiskers, but we could also throw a link your way or something). Start brainstorming!
By: Rebecca Kelley
Help Us Brainstorm Fun Job Titles
Moz News
The author's views are entirely his or her own (excluding the unlikely event of hypnosis) and may not always reflect the views of Moz.
Scott: Captain of Industry
Sarah: The Only Mozzer Smart Enough to Pass the Bar
Jane: Token Foreigner
Rebecca: Director of Mischief
Future admin: Straightener of Duck Rows
Danny: PHPimp
"Sarah: The Only Mozzer Smart Enough to Pass the Bar"
I get the feeling there aren't many mozzers who pass a bar ;-)
Ba-dum-bum, Ching!
PHPimp. thats awesome...
Agreed. One of the folks in-house suggested Duke of Perl, which I also love. :D
dude - those are awesome.
Thanks for officially derailing my train of thought this afternoon, Rebecca :)
In no particular order or attribution:
If I can throw in a serious tip: as much as I like clever titles, and I think they're ok for this industry, I'm not sure I'd give your lawyer one. She can't afford to not be taken seriously and she will probably have to deal with companies outside of SEO.
She'll still have an official title for correspondence, but we want to brainstorm a fun one for her nonetheless.
Oh, and the Silver SERPer = genius.
Ok, in that case, I approve. I think you should also have separate cards with assumed names, to be used at conferences or bars after 10PM, just in case something goes down.
Holy Crap!! Silver SERPer is awesome!!!
Silver SERPer does rock!
I might put it on my business cards. Good Job Dr. Pete!
Rebecca - you'd better grab Silver SERPer, or someone's going to take it away.
Okay. It's mine, bitches! Acquiesce or face the wrath of Becca!
I was curious to see how long silverserper.com would be available. Low and behold - it was snatched up on the 15th. Hmmmm...who could it be?
That wasn't me!...though it should have been. D'oh!
I didn't do it. I do have to admit that, the other day, before I posted a comment about the fake concept of Page Mojo, I registered pagemojo.com. I think I've been hanging around too many domainers.
Rand, please don't take this personally, but if someone chooses one of my suggestions, please, for the love of all that is holy, don't send me any beard whiskers. Also, no more shirtless pictures.
But I'm already putting your care package together!
Scott: Pompatus of Client Love
Sarah: Enforcer of Trifling Legalities, Traffic Cop (rimshot!)
Jane: Attention Magnate
Rebecca: Tribe Scribe
Future admin: Keeper of the Sacred and Holy Java Bean
Danny: Codeling
Thumbs up for "Pompatus"
Very, very clever. Thumbs up.
You guys need to hire a male SEO and give him the title of Sir-Links-A-Lot.
My linking structure don't want none unless you recipro link, hon!
I am sad to say that I do not have suggestions for you, but if it helps, I am officially registered with PubCon as...
Business: SEOish
Title: Chief Yummy Man
dude... I was scanning this post itching to see what you came up with! Throw us some toilet humor!?!
i'm gonna go with SE-Oh no you didn't for sarah.
for the admin: Art-official Intelligence
for the intern: Chief Crap-on-me
brain power is officially exerted.
I like "SE-OH No You Didn't"
SEOh no you didn't" gets a vote from me too. :-)
Rebecca: Queen B.
Jane: The Wonder From Down Under
Scott: CSS - Chief Sales Slug
Sarah - Four Star General, Counsel
Future Admin - Crapmaster
Danny: Intern Affairs Officer
Rebecca, if I win, I'd prefer back hair over whiskers. jk - yuck.
Thumbs up for "crapmaster."
Must put "Flex" after, of course...
Scott: Director of Etc. & Other Etc.
Sarah: Company Psychologist & Paperwork Creator
Jane: Director of Schmoozing (sp??)
Rebecca: Eye Candy Socialite
Admin: Bitch Boy/Bitch Girl
Danny: Lord of All Things Technical
. . . and I was so trying to get to 50 thumbs up . . . oh, well.
The DACK web economy bullsh*t generator is always a favourite of mine in these situations... https://dack.com/web/bullshit.html
Orchestrated Visionary Web-ready Makers
Ubiquitous Relationship Optimizers
Cross-platform Portal Recontextualizers (this one might actually work! :)
... I'll post another comment if I can think of something slightly more serious.
-Keeper of All Your Base
Ok, since Sir-Links-A-Lot probably won't work, here's a few others that might...
Scott: Clients' Eyes and Ears and Mouth and Nose (?), The Caped Crusader (Scott this is your chance to be Batman, just like your moz profile claims)
Sarah: The Moz Stamp of Approval
Jane or Rebecca: Searchologist or SERPiatrist
Rebecca: La Blogadora (minor in Spanish)
Future admin: mozEnabler
Danny: 4865616420496e7465726e (Head Intern in HEX) or 4920204c6f766520546f20436f6465 (I Love to Code)
I could rock a luchador mask at conferences!
My stab:
Scott: Bochco Boffin (I could not resist) or maybe The Camera Smoking Man
Sarah: Head Writer of Lines That We Operate Between.
Jane: Mordor Migrant Laborer & Accent Translator.
Rebecca: Director of Spam Reception
Future admin: Red-shirt Ensign
Danny: Keeper of the Swingline
(edited for spacing)
"Mordor Migrant Laborer"--oh man, I hope Jane picks that (even though I know she won't).
Ah... maybe if I butter her up with a, "Please pick mine, pretty pretty please."
I've got one for Matt too: 404. ;D
i like 301 better. I'm not gone, I've moved permanently :)
Scott, any chance that it's really a 302? :)
No, and my name isn't Scott
Hey, Matt commenting at SEOmoz! Sweet. It's like when superman died but then came back. . .as four people.
Matt commenting reminds me of warmer weather, like when he abandoned us. jk.
Big up to my mozzers in the high lattitudes dreading the cusp of winter!
Yikes, sorry Matt, guess I was still stuck on thinking of Scott's Batman-ish job titles....
All apologies...
Classic 404!
Haha, nice. That just happen to come at the best time.
Yeah, but no one ever sees a 301 page unless they're using a text browser that requires a click through on the server redirection. But maybe the craftiness is appropriate to the persona. Whoa, that was nerdy.
Jane is finally catching up on the blog posts she missed whilst in England and has indeed picked that one up...
Call Jane "THE Hurricane".
1. She's from Wellington.
2. I've got no other reason, it's a cool name and I wish it was mine.
Scott: Mozilla Gorilla
Jane: Penis and Breast Stroker (a bit over the top but would be wild on a business card - the double takes would be endless)
Rebecca: Red Hot Sock Puppet
or this could be used: https://www.gorskys.com.au/articles/nickname-generator.html
Thank god none of you are coming to Chicago......
Scott: Head of Buzzword ComplianceSarah: Keeper of Get Out of Jail CardsJane: Chief Client Shoulder To Cry OnRebecca: Optimized Blab EditorFuture admin: Head JanitorDanny: Senior Ladder Climber
Future admin: Rank and File
Ohhhh snap!
Given Rebecca's subconscious desires for holding up liquor stores (and God knows what the rest of them are up to) I can only think of "Bail Bond Expert" for Sarah.
Rebecca/Jane: Wicked Witch of the Web
Danny: King Nerd of /dev/null
Sarah: Single Mother of (insert number of SEOmoz employees here)
Future Admin: Robot
Especially like robot for admin. Maybe we'll use that one if the mozzers don't.
How about MOZbot?
How about.... Master of SERPrising Results?
Nice one! We're tossing around variations of that.
How about Chief SERPriser?
Whether that becomes a title or not, can we all start referring to a PageRank or algo shuffle as a "SERPrise Party" instead of a Google Dance or PageRank Apocalypse?!
New Admin: Lord of the Phone Rings
Arachibutyrophobist - Fear of peanut butter on the roof of your mouth...seriously...could be offensive though, if someone was to really have the, uh, condition...
Jane or Rebecca: Searchmaster Flex
Blogging Molly
Scott: Pigeon Wrangler
To be continued...
Didn't look at the others. . .
Scott: Elbow Rubber
Sarah: SUITmoz
Jane: Agent Kiwi
Rebecca: Attention Economist
Future admin: Coffee Bitch
Danny: Chief Bean Sprout
ps My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Thumbed for Ralph Wiggum. :)
Well, I knew if the names fell flat Ralphy would help.
"Daddy, these rubber pants are hot."
"You'll wear 'em till you learn, son."
Rand and Scott suggested "Consiglieri" for me and that's edging towards the top of my list...
Love the drama. And Parlo Italiano (very poorly).
Thoughts?
Vedo male si assassinare persone nel corso di conferenze. Non vorrei fare errori con voi.
So next time I'm playing Italian "Wheel of Fortune" I'll take an 'R' an 'S' a 'C' and buy every vowel in existence.
I advise you to not see anything at the conference TMS.
Would be shame if ol macky had to put you in the river by the tug boat...with cemet bags, just drooping on down. Oh the cement is just, it's there for the weight dear <singing, bobby darin in vegas style>
Sarah - on Consiglieri - yes please.
Sarah,
Consigliere is perfect! My only question is: Does Rand change his title to "Capo de tutti"? For that matter, you might also want to consider "Capo Avvacato".
Even with the Writers strike going on, I decided to take a shot at this.
Scott: Communicator Dominator
Sarah: Friend of Fishes (may have to stretch to find the reference, but think Nemo)
Jane: Zealous Zealander
Rebecca: Bi Bim BopStar (was trying to think of a Korean reference)Edit: OK, more applicable would be Bi Bim OptStar
Admin: Gatekeeper
Danny: Desk Hunter or Squatter
I gotta give you credit for trying to pun up a Korean dish. :D
Oh noes. I'm late for the fun!
Scott: Chief Acceleration Officer
Minister for Hand Holding,
Senior Lego Analyst,
Invoker of Damned Pacts/Contracts,
Sarah: The Custodian (because she cleans up Moz messes)
Necessary Evil (hah!)
Jane: Queen of Mordor,
Burger Queen (I swear that's all she eats!),
Rebecca: Ideas Ambassador,
Ideas Hamster,
Director of Incubation... oops maybe there's a theme here.
Funkmaster Bex
Chief Entertainment Officer
Future Admin:
Master of Disaster,
Chief Reality Officer
Director of Getting Shit Done
Danny: The Exterminator (no more bugs),
Code Assassin
And because it's 5:45pm Friday here in Oz, here's a quick SEOmoz quiz:
Identify the following mozzers:
1. "The Champion of the World"
2. "Hollywood"
3. "Trapped In The Closet"
4. "Whale Rider"
5. "JP"
Have a good weekend!
1. Hmm, Rand?
2. Scott
3. R. Kelley ;)
4. Kiwi
5. Pollard
I like Funkmaster Bex (ah whatchoo got to say?)
Scott: I make things grow bigger
Sarah: Legally lethal
Jane: SEO GI
Rebecca: Initiator of Buzz
Future admin: Official Door Mat
Danny: Wiz Kid
Not too bad, but I'm pretty sure that "I Make Things Grow Bigger" belongs on the card of a Viagra spammer.
haha, i was thinking the same thing but thought it better not to comment
Hahaha! It's not only reserved for the Viagra crowd though... could also be the slogan for a plastic surgeon, specializing in breast implants!
Interwebs Mechanic
Rebecca - Ping Pong Ringer
heh
A colleague at SpringWidgets has THE Coolest Title EVAH!!!
I totally think that should become de'rigeur for web companies... and I better see that on someone's card - no ransom note necessary. ;)
To help people out, my last name is Dover. As in Ben Dover, Ilene Dover, Moe Dover. The list goes on... trust me.
FAQ Dover? :o
Oh. My. God. That's incredible.
Scott, your reactions make me laugh more than the original comments sometimes.
Hey! >:O
Sorry, I meant that in general, Rebecca. Not your comments, or mine; we're hilarious.
Technically I posted the original comment. So I should be the one you apologize to, not Rebecca... :-)
Sorry, I didn't mean to cause a controversy. Let me clarify. Sometimes, I find original comments very funny. Sometimes, I find Scott's reactions to those comments very funny. On occasion, the resulting laughter to Scott's reaction exceeds that which I expressed for the original comment. This is is no way an insult to the original comment. In fact, it could be argued that the humor builds through an additive chain, with the original comment's humor contributing to the hilarity of susequent replies to that comment. In that model, anyone's reaction to the original comment will always be somewhat unfairly disadvantaged relative to the follow-up comments that build upon it.
So, in summary, I apologize for all of the times that I have laughed more heartily at a follow-up comment than I did at the well-deserving and equally or more witty original comment that it was built upon.
You need to say that all really fast and in a low voice, like the lawyer voice at the end of a radio commercial for Fabulous Finance Savings on a New Honda!!
priceless
Off the top of my head,
Administrator: The Admininator
Programmer: SearchBot, MozMonkey
Legal: "I can spell and pronounce Mesothelioma", Legal Eagle
Rebecca: Social Cynosure (Hah! You'll probably have to look that up...), "Web 2.0 is a social disease", Social Butterfly
Jane: Spinmistress
Scott: "Got Money?", Client Ombudsman
Ian
Scott: Captain BizDev
Sarah: Coptimus Prime
Jane: New Zealot
Rebecca: Social Buzzterfly
Future admin: Life Management Guru
Danny: Top Pup
For Sarah: Miss Demeanor ?? :-)
oh la la.
very sexy.
I came up with "Detroit Rock SEOty" a while back, but it's kind of awkward. Rand suggested an alternate "Detroit Rock Searchy." Thoughts?
SEO Speedwagon
SEO Speedwagon - yes
Detroit Rock ____ - no
"Heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another that you'd been linkin' around..."
That? So witty! Should be Google's theme song...
Yeah, I was pretty pleased with myself after that one.
I like Detroit Rock ____ ... SEOty could be the way to go. Just need people to say it properly otherwise it doesn't work.
Legal: "Bar Star"
Rebecca: Executive Vice Prez of Keepin' It Real
Scott: Space Cowboy
Jane: Gangsta of Link Love
Admin: Desktop Application
Danny: Techno-Bull
Wow, I have to thumbs up Silver SERPer , very inventive.
Jane: Dog Lover
Rebecca: Resident Simpsons Guru
Scott: Really Tall Guy
Sarah: A Good Friend to Have
Danny: Code Fluffer (note: hehehe)
Future Admin: SEOmoz Runner or Newbie Who Has to Earn a Cool Title
Apologies to anyone who may have already been this creative - I decided to throw down my ideas before I read 100 others ;)
Another one 4 Sarah: advocatus SEOboli
Can't believe I missed this one while I was away. Better late than never, here's a few ideas. But nothing good enough to win Rand's beard (thank god).
Sarah: I have nothing better than consigliere (though I want to temper it with a lolcats-style: I is in ur contractz hiding ur clauzes)
Rebecca: on the theme of http codes above (I love 301 for Matt) 402 since it seems you and Jane have to do a lot of the client work (look it up)
Jane: Fust page rinkings
Scott: Batman (OK, Bizdevman)
Danny: I have nothing better than FAQ Dover
Admin: Monkey (we actually used to have a monkey@distilled email address)
I know Rand doesn't need one, but I quite like "follow, index".
I find naming fascinating, at one point we thought of ellipsis for our company (so we could have the domain name www.dotdotdot.com) but someone had got there first.
What about Smooth Operator? or Intangible Asset Appraiser? or Port Commissioner of Funkytown?
I am new to this site so I am just going to act like you guys give shit where I come from. I graduated (with a sociology degree) about 2 1/2 years ago and went to work for an electronic wire and cable distribution company in Dallas, Tx as a Sales Rep. I was soon one of the "top dogs" on the sales floor. and figured out the industry history quick. I mean hell.....think about it......Wire and cable distribution....it is a multi-billion dollar industry, and you can literally still make multi-mill a year with direct-dino-mail and printed yellow page ads in 40 states.haha Once I found out we had absolutely no way to track the direct mail or printed directory return leads..... I knew the company was stuck in a rut due to an outdated vision of the market. They were literally blowing $300,000/yr. in adv. $$ through channels that were not measurable...So I presented the concept of tracking the exact ROI through applying unique numbers to all ads....recorded calls (if they were even produced)
Lets just say after the results came back over a year.....I am damn sure glad that it was not my money......because they were pissing in the wind with that budget, as all you guys know.
Anyway, long story short they gave me the keys and told me to change the oil......after a 9 month project of completing a $50k we site investment......I got sucked into the marketing world with the help of our IT Director and found my passion. As I am trying to educate myself on the more technical aspects......my IT partner was able to handle the online marketing stradegy or outsource the optimization when necessary.
My passion is in the Graphic Ad design and the implementation of sales systems to measure and provide insite to your opportunity pipeline. Our efforts were so rewarding to the company, that it motivated us to start a graphic ad design and strategic online campains.
Sorry for the damn story and I know there are a lot of rolling eyes if I still have anyones attention.......but I really wanted to share my new Brand Identity with you to see what you thought.....and also what will be going on my Business Cards.
FrontLine Ad Force llc.
tagline: "Take Off"
Hunter Fleming / CEO
"Creative Enforcement Officer"
Thanks for putting up with my anxiety.....we opened up shop 2 weeks ago! As my partner has 20 yrs of IT/ Marketing experience.....I however do not....But I really like the concept of this identity.....I think it relates to the industry well. Advertising is like being in a war zone and only the strong thrive......so why not TAKE OFF to the front line and position your brand in the middle of the mess! All thoughts and opinions are welcomed and appreciated!
ROFL....you are going to have a heck of a time hiring your next Future Admin after all the titles I've read here so far... poor thing...
I am new to this site so I am just going to act like you guys give shit where I come from. I graduated (with a sociology degree) about 2 1/2 years ago and went to work for an electronic wire and cable distribution company in Dallas, Tx as a Sales Rep. I was soon one of the "top dogs" on the sales floor. and figured out the industry history quick. I mean hell.....think about it......Wire and cable distribution....it is a multi-billion dollar industry, and you can literally still make multi-mill a year with direct-dino-mail and printed yellow page ads in 40 states.haha Once I found out we had absolutely no way to track the direct mail or printed directory return leads..... I knew the company was stuck in a rut due to an outdated vision of the market. They were literally blowing $300,000/yr. in adv. $$ through channels that were not measurable...So I presented the concept of tracking the exact ROI through applying unique numbers to all ads....recorded calls (if they were even produced)
Lets just say after the results came back over a year.....I am damn sure glad that it was not my money......because they were pissing in the wind with that budget, as all you guys know.
Anyway, long story short they gave me the keys and told me to change the oil......after a 9 month project of completing a $50k we site investment......I got sucked into the marketing world with the help of our IT Director and found my passion. As I am trying to educate myself on the more technical aspects......my IT partner was able to handle the online marketing stradegy or outsource the optimization when necessary.
My passion is in the Graphic Ad design and the implementation of sales systems to measure and provide insite to your opportunity pipeline. Our efforts were so rewarding to the company, that it motivated us to start a graphic ad design and strategic online campains.
Sorry for the damn story and I know there are a lot of rolling eyes if I still have anyones attention.......but I really wanted to share my new Brand Identity with you to see what you thought.....and also what will be going on my Business Cards.
FrontLine Ad Force llc.
tagline: "Take Off"
Hunter Fleming / CEO
"Creative Enforcement Officer"
Thanks for putting up with my anxiety.....we opened up shop 2 weeks ago! As my partner has 20 yrs of IT/ Marketing experience.....I however do not....But I really like the concept of this identity.....I think it relates to the industry well. Advertising is like being in a war zone and only the strong thrive......so why not TAKE OFF to the front line and position your brand in the middle of the mess! All thoughts and opinions are welcomed and appreciated!
Sarah - Chief Enabler or Chief Enablement Officer
Rebecca - Chief Mouth and Cuteness Coordinator
Jane - Kiwi Ambasator
Scott - Buddy Coordination
Danny - Deventulator
Future Admin - "Hey you"
How about Cranium Wannabes?
Without looking at others here are some ideas:
Scott: Air Traffic Control
Sarah: Mumbo Jumbo
Jane: The Rep with a Cent
Rebecca: BFF - blogging fiend forever
Future admin: Mr./Mrs./Ms. Glue
Danny: Head Worm Wrangler
I've got nothing but it was only on the second reading that I got the bar comment from vingold so I'll put it down to general dimwittedness this evening.
Given that you've thrown open the suggestions to the adoring masses any chance of a public vote?
Director of Internetology or Awesomeness Evangelist
Sarah - Legal Eagle
Jane - Sugar
Rebecca - Spice
Future Admin - Guy or Gal Friday
Chief Zen Officer
Ok, here is my 2 cents
Scott: Overlord
Sarah: Lady Justice
Jane: Fate 1 Rebecca: Fate 2 Future admin: Glue Monger Danny: Peon
Sarah: Bail Funds Administrator
Jane: Queen of Middle-Earth
Rebecca: Professional Showerer
Future Admin: Head of Barista Oversight (allusion to coffee runs)
Danny: Gatekeeper to the Stars
Rand: All-Pro Cat Herder...1982
Investigator of Transformer Aggrandizement
hhhmmm...
Mozber Wrangler - Scott
Mozzer Wrangler - admin
Mozzologist - Danny
SERPologist - Jane
Speaking of fun titles, I really like some of the (somewhat related) titles I've seen at automattic.com: Bug Exorcist, Happiness Engineer, & Systems Wrangler.
@scott: SEO Enterprise Business
@Sarah: SEO Legal Lady
@Jane: SE0 Consulting 2.0
@Rebecca: SEO CMS Manager
@Admin: SEOffice Services
@Danny: SEO Active Development
not so funny, but efficent
I always like the standard Pixel Monkey and Basement Troll. Then you could have Street Rep. or Street Cred. for reputation manager. You have your good old Search Pip or Site Pip for anyone doing SEO or sales and Crap Master for any intern.
I don't know. It's late and those will probably sound really bad in the morning so I'm giving up before I write something I'll regret.
Director of Cool Stuff
Jane: SEO, reputation management, social media, consulting, speaking, some blogging, rocking the accent
Why not just use REPUTATION MANAGER OR REPUTATION MANAGEMENT
Sarah could be Legal Guru
We're trying to shy away from "corporate" or "boring" job titles and more towards offbeat, quirky ones.
Jennifer Tilley Impersonator