This afternoon, I enjoyed the hilariously disturbing experience of talking to Yahoo!'s Platinum service team about including a site in Sitematch. A consulting client of ours contacted us several months ago about his site's de-listing in Yahoo!'s index. Our strategy was to follow Yahoo!'s quality guidelines list to the T and request inclusion in the paid Sitematch program.

This particular site spent well over $1 million with Yahoo! last year, which, while not wholly significant, is still a sizeable investment in any advertising effort. They've been Yahoo! customers for many years, and until they attempted some over-bearing content spamming strategies last year, had never had a problem with the relationship.

What made this feel like Kafka's "Castle" was the following exchange (which I've paraphrased somewhat liberally):

Me: I'm calling in regards to your email about our being refused entry to the Sitematch program. Can you explain that for me?

Platinum Rep: Sure - the inclusion team says that you don't meet our quality guidelines requirements.

Me: Yes, we had that problem a few months ago and have spent a good deal of time and money getting our site in shape. We believe that we fit not only the letter but the intent behind every one of these guidelines, both the objective and subjective ones and we'd like to know which piece might still be a problem for you.

Platinum Rep: OK, hang on, I'll ask.... (wait for a few minutes)... I'm sorry, they won't tell me that information.

Me: They won't? How about an idea of a few or an area we could think about - the page has almost 30 requirements...

Platinum Rep: I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do.

Me: So let's say that I go back and try to review this again and make some changes. When I re-submit it to you, would you then be able to say which elements might be missing. I certainly don't want to waste both our time for months without the hope of an end.

Platinum Rep: Let me check... (wait)... .No, I'm sorry - apparently they can never reveal any specifics or give any suggestions.

Me: Maybe they could just tell me whether the bottom half of the page or the top half is worth looking at.

Platinum Rep: No, I'm sorry.

Me: Ok, let's look at this in another way. Let's say that you have a site who's reviewed all these elements, made appropriate changes and still can't get included...

Platinum Rep: OK - that sounds like your situation.

Me: What would you advise them would be the next step in this process to move back towards re-inclusion?

Platinum Rep: Well... OK I see where you going - it's a Catch-22. I wish there was something I could do, but there isn't. I'm sorry.

Me: But we both appreciate the absurdity - that's all I need.

Platinum Rep: Absurdity?

Me: Sorry, I don't mean absurd like when a clown does something funny; I mean "absurd" as in the French literary movement - Sartre and Camus, etc.

Platinum Rep: Oh... Yes, in that way, I suppose it is absurd.

Me: OK, so what's our next step?

Platinum Rep: I think we've established that's a question without an answer.

Me: OK (laughing). I suppose we'll have this conversation again soon.

Platinum Rep: Sorry about that.

I don't think Yahoo! meant to create a system like this. And it's clear to see that by saying - "#4 and #6 - those are your problems, get to work," this is an issue that would dissappear. Why they want to make life hard for their advertisers (and people who want to spend money with them) is beyond me. At some point, an executive decision was clearly made by someone wholly out of touch with reality - let's hope they fix it soon.

The biggest issue isn't even the process itself, but the frustration and anger that can be caused. My consulting client was certainly in a state of great fury after this experience, and I can hardly blame him - particularly since their site looks entirely clean to me.

Any similiar experiences out there?